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I figured I should post in here, seeing that I almost never do.
Life is shit atm. I'm fatter then ever, and I can't stop eating.
Denis, my friends dad, also my landlord who knows about my issues, told me to stand infront of the mirror naked and try to accept my flaws, and strengths.
All i could see was my flaws, as usual. My rolls, my fat lines, stretchmarks, scars, etc.
Infact i was so disgusted, I never want to look in the mirror again.
Of course this whole thing was triggering, causing a mental breakdown. No cutting though, I should be proud I suppose? Yet I couldn't care less... Scars already cover my whole body.
Not like another few would really matter.
Anyways, i can see myself spiraling downwards again, hopefully i can pick myself up afgain, before hospitalization occurs.


On a different note, here are my goals, for the next few weeks.
This sunday : 160
Sunday After that:155.
Achievable? Yes.

I'm also going to start being vegan again (vegetarian atm)...
So yeah...
Not much else to say... heh.
xxx
Maria

Comments

best of luck with your transition to veganism! i'm here if you need to talk.

xoxo,
jase

May 2011

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